I Wonder

Regrets…
I have many
Too many to count. 

Rainy days
Liquid too heavy
Too sharp and too runny
Sometimes
Too scary and muddy. 

Followed
By colorless rainbow days
Too depressing
to not even imagine
It’s final prize
The end with its treasure. 

Maybe a wish to a better past
Then again
With the current knowledge 
With the current courage
Without the knots
Fearless and assertive. 

But would that be me?
Would that change
Bring me to now?
Would these words
Come to existence again?
I wonder…